Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Welcome to don't die with your song inside you.
[00:00:06] This is a safe space, a loving container to welcome all parts of yourself, to allow your whole experience of life to settle in right here in this beautiful space where all is good, where healing happens, and where we can calmly and compassionately love ourselves, accept all parts of us, and from that loving, graceful place, move into whatever we need to do to have the best life ever, to have a wonderful experience, to enjoy being here on this beautiful planet.
[00:00:57] This podcast is especially for spiritual entrepreneurs, heart centered people who have gifts inside them. A song inside of you. Something that you want to share with the world, but it's not being shared fully because of all this unresolved stuff. Not good enough, not ready enough, not healed enough, not anything, whatever it is, and it's stopping you, sharing your love. And we're here to heal and transform that gently and calmly.
[00:01:30] We're spiritual beings having a human experience.
[00:01:37] Being here is a bit like waking up in the middle of a movie, in the middle of a dream, not quite knowing how we got here, what's going on, what the rules are, and we have to figure it all out. Well, all our programming and belief systems and all the pressure from society and all this stuff, everything. And we're all just doing the best we can, flying at a thousand miles an hour through space.
[00:02:00] So I want to thank you from my heart, thank you for being here, thank you for your presence.
[00:02:07] And this is just the first of hopefully many episodes where we can connect, we can go deep and we can explore what is really, really going on here. Life is a mess.
[00:02:25] We're doing the best we can. We live in a crazy world. Everything's crazy. There's all this AI nowadays, you know, algorithms.
[00:02:34] It's just insane. We're living in an insane and amazing transformative time. And we're trying to figure it out.
[00:02:44] In case you don't know me, my Name's Michael, Michael McIntosh. And I've been on a spiritual adventure for the last 28 years. I had a spiritual awakening when I was 18 where I was unexpectedly pulled out of my body.
[00:03:01] And I saw myself walking in this beautiful white light along a path.
[00:03:10] And sooner or later, the path split into two. And I stopped at the fork in this path and I could see into the future.
[00:03:18] And I saw what would happen if I carried on the way that I'd been living.
[00:03:23] The path of addiction, of avoiding myself, of just doing what I was told, fitting in with the world, being miserable.
[00:03:35] And then I saw this new path ahead, a path of light And I saw myself all covered in light and pure peace, happiness for no reason.
[00:03:45] And I knew I had to make a decision in that moment, in that other world, which path I was going to take.
[00:03:54] And it terrified me because I knew this was change the course of my destiny.
[00:04:01] And in my heart, I knew which one I had to do, even though I didn't know what that meant or what would happen.
[00:04:09] And as I took that first step on this new path into the light, I was immediately pulled back into my body with all this power.
[00:04:21] And I felt like I was a different person from that moment. That was a new life right there.
[00:04:28] And then I gave up so many addictions and I started getting up at 4 o' clock in the morning every day and doing hours of meditation and hours of spiritual study. And then I started teaching meditation and helping others.
[00:04:41] And then this is the messy part. Then all the stuff came up, right? All the unresolved things that I thought I'd sort of escaped from. The grace period wore off and all the mess came out.
[00:04:59] And so for the last 28 years, I've been on a very deep spiritual path with extremely high standards, which I have not lived up to.
[00:05:08] And all the while you've been, from the depth of my heart, trying to help people.
[00:05:15] And lots of miracles have happened. I mean, even imperfect as I am, thousands of thousands of souls have been served. You know, I've created all kinds of meditations, courses, programs, books that have helped thousands and thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people all over the world.
[00:05:36] I run a seven figure company, have about 75,000 five star reviews for my meditations. And so in, in a practical sense, and I live where I want, do what I want, travel where I want, so everything's great.
[00:05:51] And I still feel inhibited. I still feel, feel slightly trapped. And so I wanted to do a podcast where, where we could all talk about the real stuff, you know, because normally in, in spiritual teachings there's like the guru who's sort of sitting on the pedestal, you know, sitting on the, on the stage, talking down to everyone. But I didn't want to do that. I feel like I've done that in some way. And what I found is that when I just share the truth, share the honest, messy truth, people appreciate it. And I've always felt a bit inhibited, you know, because if I'm having a bad day or something weird is happening, it's like, no, I'm not allowed to talk about that. But that's the real stuff. Life is the messy middle. Life is all the stuff around it. This isn't like the curated Instagram feed that has all the highlights and the beach pictures and, you know, all that stuff. This is all the other messy stuff, right? That's what life actually is.
[00:06:53] And so this is for spiritual people or creators. Whether you're a spiritual coach or a life coach or a therapist, or you're an artist and you want to create something in the world, you have a gift inside you. You have a song inside of you that you want to share, but you're not sharing it because there are all these weird blocks. Perfectionism. I'm not good enough. What if no one is interested? What if no one cares?
[00:07:20] The market's so saturated.
[00:07:24] I tried and it didn't work.
[00:07:27] I've got problems of my own. I had a bad day. Who am I to do this? You know, look at all these other people. They're so successful. What's the point of me doing it? All this stuff comes up, right? And then it stops us doing anything at all.
[00:07:42] And so this, this is a podcast to just be radically honest about all this stuff.
[00:07:50] And also the spiritual principles, the psychological principles, the healing methods, the self compassion, to just enjoy being alive with all the mess. Do you know what I mean? If we can just say, look, it is a mess, things are unresolved. There's all this crazy stuff going on inside of me and in the world and in other people and in my business and in everything else. If we can accept it, we can laugh about it, then we can enjoy ourselves, right? And this is about doing things imperfectly, doing the best we can. You're sharing your work. If you have a video you want to do, just post the video. If you want to write something, just get it done. So we're going to allow ourselves to just have a go, to express, to be authentic.
[00:08:39] This is the opposite of all this nonsense that is going on on Instagram and on the Internet. Of all these so called perfect people. I know loads of coaches, I know loads of spiritual teachers. And I can tell you that it's not what it seems. And we all know this is true anyway, right? I've had so many messages from people.
[00:08:58] You look at their feed, oh, it's so perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect. Then I get a message, Michael, I'm having such a hard time. Haven't got any money. Everything's a disaster, right? It's oftentimes it's not at all what it seems.
[00:09:13] So this is the real deal and I think it's about time there is something like this around and it's a joy for me to do it because then I can just be myself. Exactly what it is, whatever's going on and just tell you how it is. I'll tell you what's going on for me, right? Just to give you some permission to be radically honest with yourself.
[00:09:34] This morning I went through a worksheet which is part of a 12 step program that I joined for three or four months ago because I was wasting my time on YouTube and watching Apple TV series is and movies and I wasn't doing my work and I was like, why am I avoiding my, my life and my work? Why am I trying to distract myself from what I need to do? And the reason is because I've got unresolved stuff inside, right? So I was using the Internet and entertainment to avoid myself.
[00:10:18] So then I went on chat GPT and I said, look, is there anyone who, any groups that could help get out of wasting time online so I can actually focus on what I want to do?
[00:10:29] So I joined one of these groups and I thought, you know what, this is pretty much the same stuff that I'm talking about myself and in my own spiritual practices. So like, why don't I just do it and see what happens?
[00:10:41] And I have to say it's been great because it's forced me to get off media. So I've not been watching any movies, no media. The only media I watch is a bit of a bit of comedy occasionally and listen to music. Everything else is cancelled. And that's given me the space to face myself because there's no distractions.
[00:10:59] And it has been quite unpleasant actually, to be perfectly honest. But it's also been hugely liberating.
[00:11:07] And this morning I'm on the third month of this program, right? And this morning is an inventory of sex and fantasies, right? Which is of course probably the most uncomfortable thing to do. I've been basically attempting to be a monk for my age for the last 28 years and I have not been successful in doing that. And I have it all written down on paper and I have to love myself, accept myself and clear it all out, right? This is heavy duty stuff, right? You're like, what the hell, Michael? You're doing a podcast telling me about your sex life. But this is what I'm talking about, right? This is the real stuff.
[00:11:47] And so of course part of me now is even thinking, I can't post this, this is ridiculous, right? But when we have a really good look at ourselves, we have to have a look at our thoughts, our feelings, Our behavior, our resentments, our fears, everything, right? In order to. To have a great life, what are we holding back? Perfectionism.
[00:12:07] There's all these skeletons in the closet.
[00:12:11] And what I've realized is that it's much healthier just to have a really good look at them all and shine a bright light on them with compassion, with love, with care, with gentleness, and figure out what to do to move forward lovingly.
[00:12:26] Because I've spent a lot of time in my life trying to avoid this stuff, trying to suppress it, trying to push it away, trying to just focus on the light, not deal with it. And it doesn't work. It just doesn't work because whatever's going on is whatever's going on. So I've got to the point myself in my journey where I just want to face everything, everything, humbly and honestly, clear it all out with love, heal it, move through it, transcend it, transform it, bless it, accept it, right? Whatever is going to work so that I can enjoy being alive, have the best day ever, including all the mess, share my gifts, my song, with the world, from my heart, without any inhibitions, without any fear, without any stuff. And if there is any ambitions and fear, then I love that as well.
[00:13:24] And so this is.
[00:13:27] This is a deep dive into having a beautiful life, a life of freedom, a life of sharing, a life where we are just authentically ourselves.
[00:13:45] And.
[00:13:47] And I feel that's what's needed in the world right now, because so much fake stuff. Not only fake people, but also AI fake AI stuff. You know, just random, like, I haven't got a script. I'm just talking to you from the heart, right?
[00:14:01] So if this is something you're interested in and you'd like to share your gifts, you want to make money doing what you want to do, you want to become successful, but you also want to be enjoying the process and not being neurotic and not being stuck and perfectionist and spitting out and just have a good time. Then this is. This is the place for you. I've done other podcasts, and I always felt a little bit inhibited, right? So I've done a podcast on spirituality, which I'm very happy about, and I'm going to keep doing. And I had this podcast on, your wish Fulfilled, which is about manifestation, but neither of them are like this full container to talk about anything related to what we're doing. And so this is for spiritual people who want to help others, who want to share their gifts, who want to be vulnerable and real and heal themselves and do the inner work and not, not be inhibited and trapped.
[00:14:57] I want to get rid of all those excuses and buts and I can't because of this. And I can't because of this. And what about this and what about that?
[00:15:04] So we're going to talk about our feelings, how to handle our feelings and talk about how to deal with negative beliefs and false ideas.
[00:15:14] We're going to talk about how to deal with other people, about how to get our workout, you know, some tactical stuff, you know, systems and all that. But that's, that's not the main point. The main point is the inner work. And what I realized is that I have a book called Get it done right, the 21 day challenge. How to how do you actually get stuff done and make things happen? And it's extremely powerful book and it works really, really well. But, but I don't use that book myself very often because of all this stuff, because of perfectionism, right. If I was to do 21 day challenges and get stuff done every month, I would probably make a hundred times more money, right? But I'm not doing it because of all this fears and inhibitions.
[00:16:05] And so this is what a lot of us are trapped in, is that we want to do all these things. Like I have hundreds of emails I haven't published. I've got loads of books I haven't published. I've got all these ideas that I didn't do anything about. I started them and I stopped them and I just gave up because of all this stuff. Perfectionism, I'm not good enough. It's not good enough. One people don't like it, blah, blah, blah. I'm not living up to my own standards. I'm sharing about this stuff, but I can't practice it 100 of the time, all the time, perfectly myself, right? And so then nothing happens.
[00:16:40] You know, I feel like all of us, we kind of, we kind of teach from being guided. Like there's a download that comes through us that is a higher level than we're at, but it's like our higher self coming through or the divine coming through.
[00:16:57] And then our human self has to pick up the pieces and try and figure out how to actually market it and polish it or polish it and finish it and get it shipped out and sent off to people. And we're like, ah.
[00:17:09] So that's been the dilemma I've had is that, I mean, I have had loads of spiritual experiences. I do probably two hours meditation a day. I mean, I have, I'm doing best I can Right.
[00:17:20] And I always know there's more. There's always more. There's always more. But that itself is another problem, right? There's, oh, I'm not, I'm not at the highest level yet. I'm not enlightened yet. I'm not constantly in a state of joy and bliss all the time.
[00:17:34] I've still got negative thoughts that come up here and there. You know, I'm.
[00:17:39] So all this stuff is going on in all of us and then that stops us being honest. It stops us sharing. It stops us sharing our song, our gifts, our work.
[00:17:52] And it makes us feel bad. It makes us feel shameful or guilty or depressed or trapped or angry. All these negative feelings.
[00:18:04] And so this is about surrendering all that up to God, to a higher power, to the universe, whatever word you want.
[00:18:11] All things are safe here. This is a big space. If you don't believe in God, that's fine. If you do, it's great.
[00:18:17] Whatever it means to you, God, Jesus, whatever. I know people, some people, they say, michael, you're not talking about Jesus enough. So I don't like it. And other people say you talk about God. I don't like the word God. Oh, but he's talking about the universe, but I don't like. So, so just, you can decide whatever you want to believe about these things. It's completely up to you. I'm not going to impress anything on you. This is a safe space for you to choose whatever words you like. And we're going to surrender up our burdens. We're going to let go.
[00:18:52] We're going to allow ourselves to be what we are and love ourselves deeply, deeply, deeply. Have huge compassion, huge self compassion. I mean, even trying to share your gifts with others, even attempting to help other people is a beautiful thing.
[00:19:09] Just your love for the world that you even want to help others.
[00:19:12] Go show what a top quality soul you are.
[00:19:17] So this is my messy, imperfect first episode. Being brutally honest with you.
[00:19:25] Part of me is like, should I tell you about having to go through this program and do this exercise and you know, about.
[00:19:33] But we, we have like, I'm willing to do whatever work I have to do on myself to go to the next level. Even if it's a mess and even if I do the work imperfectly, it needs to be done right. Just having a crack at it, doing the best we, we can using whatever tools are going to work, trying things out, and then we can breathe deeply.
[00:19:57] Ah. When you put your hand on your heart, I invite you to put your hand on your heart and just.
[00:20:04] Just breathe for a moment. Just feel whatever you're feeling could just allow yourself to be as you are. Whatever it is.
[00:20:15] You don't have to prove anything or be anything. Just. Just be what you are right now as you.
[00:20:42] And how would you feel if you just allowed yourself to be what you are and be authentic and honest with where you're at and give yourself that genuine loving self compassion that you deserve, accepting all parts of you, accepting the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between.
[00:21:25] And ultimately you're a beautiful spiritual being with so much love and light and all this other stuff is just things we picked up in this crazy journey and it's going to be all right. It's going to be all right.
[00:21:43] We can smile our way through it and it's going to be fine.
[00:21:50] So hopefully this is something that you'd like to hear more about. You can let me know if this is something you like, if you have any questions, if you have anything you'd like me to talk about.
[00:22:03] This is the messy podcast where anything is okay. The honest reality of it all, because it is a mess.
[00:22:14] We're all in process and we're all doing our best.
[00:22:19] So thank you, thank you, thank you for being here, for doing your best, for showing up, for just being here, for doing your work, for doing the work on yourself and in your service, your business, your sharings.
[00:22:35] And I look forward to talking to you more in the next episode. Lots and lots of love and many blessings.
[00:23:04] Sam.
